They say the greatest form of desire is that which is denied. As counterintuitive as it may seem, constantly pursuing someone, showering them with attention and affection, can paradoxically lead to them taking you for granted over time. When you are always available, always the pursuer, the power dynamic starts to shift. Your partner may not admit it overtly, but a certain disrespect can creep into their behavior, a subtle arrogance that comes from having you wrapped around their finger. The spell of passionate love starts to wane.

But there is an antidote to this slow fade, a way to resurrect respect and rekindle the fires of desire. It is the magnetic art of creating absence.

By stepping back, you reverse the polarity. You become the sought after instead of the seeker. The mere hint of distance activates powerful forces within the human psyche - forces of loss aversion, of renewed pursuit. When you are no longer omnipresent, you become refreshingly elusive, and scarcity enhances value. Absence makes the heart grow fonder not just fornight-blooming flowers, but for relationships too.

This is not about playing games or mind tricks. It is about balancing the seesaw of power, of creating room for your partner to feel inspired to take steps towards you. When they make that move, the dynamic is reversed - they are now the active pursuer, and you the prize to be valued.

The art lies in the subtlety, in not being too overt or deliberate about creating absence. It is a light touch, like a masterful painter leaving blank spaces on the canvas for the observer's imagination to fill. A withdrawn text here, a postponed date night there. Not too much, or it becomes a melodramatic cold shoulder. Just enough for them to feel a magnetic pull towards you, an inescapable gravity.

When they start seeking you out, desiring your presence, complimenting you in ways they had not in months or years, you will know you have struck the right balance. For absence is like wind to a fire - when there is too little of it, the flames are starved of oxygen. But when given the gentlest breath of space, they can blaze anew, radiating strength, warmth, and rekindled respect. Master this counterintuitive art, and you master the dance of holding their passionate courtship.

// Mainza Kangombe